Not the kind of dumpy, sad “feeling blue” blue…..
Not the crystal blue water of the oceans I’ve never seen…
Not the blue that looks best on me or the blue I’ve chosen for a painting project….
So many times in 2013 the kids and I have felt the blues.
Diabetes and the end of a relationship where 4 kids were involved just really wreaked havoc on our emotions.
Yesterday we were feeling a new kind of blue.
Meet “Blue” – our brand new puppy!
Ian has been negotiating, bargaining, sweet-talking, begging, and giving me puppy dog eyes for the last few weeks. He had been even sending pics of puppies to Dee and coaching her to show them to me. (He originally asked for a dog back in the winter shortly after he was diagnosed and it killed me to say no, because I wanted to give him the world after his life was turned upside down).
Dee, the cool and quiet one, took a somewhat different approach and hung out with us a little more often when the topic was being
discussed forced. (I’ve noticed that as she enters 8th grade she prefers to hang out in her room a lot more.)
So in the end, after a lot of reading on my part and sending them links to read on their iPods (educational summer reading)…
After considering my options, making phone calls, weighing pros and cons and evaluating our life….
We met and brought home Blue.
I wish we could take credit for the name. It was what he’d been called the last three months. When I asked why (the other puppies were named Chaos and Alexander) she said,
“He was wearing a blue collar.”
Hmmmm…that might just be quirky enough to work.
And as we drove home with him we were able to make just about any song on the radio about Blue.
The best was probably Phillip Phillips’ song “Gone, Gone, Gone.”
“I will do it for Blue, for Blue!”
The rest of the night it just made sense…we bought a blue leash and collar, Ian drank blue G2 at a picnic, and chose a blue cupcake for dessert.
Each time he would proclaim with his eyes bright, “For Blue!”
When we returned home from the staff picnic it became official: He was Blue.
The final reason the name Blue just works….blue is often used for Diabetes Awareness.
I think it was meant to be!
The girl who used to teach and blog about it all the time?
Well, I’m not back, but at least I’m thinking about it.
During our Valentine’s weekend getaway, Jay and I had a conversation over dinner about my blog. He said I really needed to get back to doing it, to doing something I loved and was good at. He said if nothing else, I should write about how teachers can work with a student with diabetes and what it entails.
I will admit that I have been keeping a private blog – just for myself – about this journey. It’s not something I am up for sharing at this time.
I will tell you though, the past 6 weeks have been life changing and incredibly challenging.
Ian is adjusting to a new way of life and I’m doing everything I can to make it easier for him and for our family.
Diabetes is an unbelievably complicated and overwhelming disease that leaves you exhausted and puzzled. You think you’ve got things under control, you think you’ve found a rhythm, and then…you are hit with the reality that it’s never going to be that simple. There’s no foolproof way to manage diabetes.
If there was, I guess it would be what they call a CURE.
No day is the same and very few nights are restful.
Finally, in the past week my teaching has been improving and I feel better about school and my job. It is very hard for me to not give my all at my job because I always have.
But lately I’ve had to say NO to a lot of things and say THIS IS SO NOT A BIG DEAL to many others.
I have been doing what I can to get by in the classroom – as bad as that may sound. Thankfully, we are reading the novel, Stargirl, and I know it inside and out and have a great unit that I’ve developed over the last three years.
I’ve felt little moments of pride over things we’ve done in class and that sparkle that I used to feel on a daily basis…it’s here somewhere.
I will have to gather some thoughts about school and start posting on a semi-regular basis again.
I will leave you with a picture of Ian….who today came home from school with a horrible headache and blood sugars that are way too high. It stinks for him to have these random highs and lows. We dealt with scary lows all last week and now he’s higher than he’s been since we’ve been home.
And this pic is from Nerd Day last week. He’s a pretty handsome nerd, don’t you think?